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January 6, 2023
Dream becomes reality: Answering the call to the diaconate By Deacon Matt Lonnemann
I can honestly say my calling to the diaconate has been ongoing for decades, though I did not know it at the time. Like many young people, my eyes could not see, nor could my ears hear the calling of God the Father. In my case, I did not want to see or hear, as I had so much more to do.
I was planning for college and a career. I did not have time for “distractions.” I know now that God has always been so very patient with me, but at the time, I do not know if I possessed the concept of discernment, or if I even knew what a vocation was.
I am a cradle Catholic. I remember well my first reconciliation and first holy Communion. I served Mass as an altar server. As I matured and reflected on my confirmation, I chose to be a youth minister and lector. I did everything a good Catholic boy was supposed to do. But I did not know why I did those things.
If I am honest, my ministries began to feel like a burden, and as I grew older and went off to college, I fell away from my faith and became more secularized. As a result, things started to become more difficult. I began to struggle in school and wonder what I was supposed to do.
At the ripe old age of 20, I joined the Army. Five years later, on Sept. 11, 2001, everything changed, and I was no exception.
In the years to follow, my faith never left me, but it was tested — at times, severely. Like many whose faith is tested, I chose not to engage in deepening my relationship with God, but to pull into myself. I questioned everything, until I came to realize that I had fallen completely away from Catholicism.
Looking back, I can see several “calls,” always centered around sacraments. From my marriage to my children’s baptisms, to my oldest daughter’s first holy Communion, God was patiently placing His divine presence near me, but I stubbornly refused Him.
The most powerful call came after I retired from the Army. As I moved my family to Nebraska from Fort Bragg, North Carolina, my wife and I began our search for a house. At the time, I was quitting one job and had yet to start my other. Since I was on leave, my retirement pay had not started. This caused issues with banks, as it appeared I had no income. I called three banks. The answer was the same every time. “Your debt-to-income ratio is too high; you do not make any money; how are you and your family living, sir?”
My wife and I then started to look for a rental. We could not find a rental property in Hastings with sufficient size for a family of five and four pets, so we started looking in Grand Island. One property was available, but because our home in North Carolina had yet to sell, it was going to be cost prohibitive, unless my wife went back to work.
Then one day, we found a house we really liked, but we knew it was out of our price range and it was not for rent. The Realtor called the owners and they wanted to meet us. After hearing our situation, they offered to rent the home to us for a very reasonable amount. Through God’s good graces and the charity of a good Christian family, we had a home.
After we moved, my wife began looking for a job. We needed to secure child care for our youngest so she could work. As is typical for us, we split this task of calling the list of possible providers. The first two places I called couldn’t accommodate us, but the first place my wife called thankfully had openings for our children. The day care was the St. Mary’s Cathedral Day Care. We did not know or care how close to St Mary’s we were when we moved, but once we settled into our new home, it was hard not to realize the significance of the proximity, and it was certainly not lost on me that our children were going to a Catholic day care. Still, I resisted the pull of Christ and struggled in a very real way with the war and what it had done to me.
As our first summer in Grand Island ended, and we prepared for our second winter, my oldest daughter started bugging me about taking her to Mass. All my children were baptized Catholic, but their faith suffered because of my experiences. As winter turned to early spring, my children insisted on going to church. Finally, my wife began bugging me as well. I gave in and we went to Mass. The first Mass we went to was Palm Sunday. I began my journey back to the Church.
My reintroduction went very quickly after that. I joined the Knights of Columbus, searching to fill the void my retirement had left in me, and I was looking to serve the Church and my fellow man anyway I could. I became a lector and extraordinary minister of holy Communion that fall and began inviting our priests over for dinner and fellowship.
God continued to align my life to His desire for me. Around October 2017, I began having recurring dreams. In this dream, I found myself face down in front of the altar at St. Mary's Cathedral, dressed in white. I had the same dream night after night for just over a month. Oddly, I was always very calm and very much at peace after the dream. It was the first time in many years that I felt truly at peace.
The dream became central to discussions with the priests at the cathedral at that time, Father Scott Harter and Father (now Bishop) Jim Golka. When asked if I had ever been to an ordination, I replied that I had never attended an ordination that I could remember. Father Golka explained the act of lying prostrate before the altar during the ordination of candidates for episcopal and priestly ordinations, as well as the permanent diaconate. This is an act of humility and surrender. As a result, I began exploring the permanent diaconate as a vocation. The direction I received was also the motivation I needed that led to my first reconciliation in more than 25 years.
I never would have thought that, four and a half years later, my dream would become a reality. On May 20, 2022, I lay prostrate in front of the altar at St. Mary’s Cathedral and became a permanent deacon for the Diocese of Grand Island.
So many things have happened to me. The call of the Holy Spirit is sometimes loud, but in my case, it was a whisper. The Lord, in His infinite patience, tried to call and turn me back to the Church, but I stubbornly refused. Finally, I reconciled with myself and with God and the Church, listened and here I am.
No matter how the call comes, we cannot do anything but answer in the same way God calls us, in love. So, if you think you hear a calling to serve, listen! Hear the Lord, your God, and answer Him knowing that you will need His help along the way. Answer Him in trust and love, and pray that you have the strength, courage and wisdom to live your vocation, whatever that may be, for the greater glory of the Father.
“Here I am Lord, take me.”
Deacon Matt Lonnemann is a newly ordained permanent deacon for the Diocese of Grand Island. Matt and his wife Kellie have three children: Rylee, Paige and Russell. The Lonnemanns are parishioners of St. Mary’s Cathedral in Grand Island.
Read our latest issue of West Nebraska Catholic magazine and Mother's article here: https://catholicmagazines.org/magazine-archive/west-nebraska-catholic/gi0123
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