Being a member of the Catholic Faith is the most valuable gift of my life. Did I always appreciate my Catholic Faith? Not as I do now, nor as I hope to in the future.
I am Catholic and was born into the faith at my baptism in infancy. But, of course, my understanding of this sacrament has had to be nourished through the years. My parents set a great example and always took us eight kids to Sunday Mass and sometimes First Fridays. We prayed the rosary occasionally in the evenings, when Dad said it was time. Mom had a morning prayer typed out onto cards for us to pray, but I don’t remember how long we did this. I just remember her effort in getting us to pray. We went to catechism and had very caring teachers.
It wasn’t until I attended Outward Bound in High School, now known as Higher Ground, that I developed an appreciation for the Mass. Each day at Mass, we offered our activities and experiences of the day at the offertory. We offered ourselves to the Lord at Mass. This was how Mass became more meaningful to me. I would continue to attend Mass throughout college.
The summer after my freshman year of college, I spent two weeks on a mission trip to the Appalachian region of Kentucky to help teach Bible school with another girl and two Servite Sisters. At one Mass, the priest stated the host was just a symbol of Christ. No one said anything, but it was shocking to me. I began to question if what he said was true. It was quite some time later that I asked my dad if he believed Jesus was truly present in the Eucharist. My dad responded, “Yes, Jesus said so.” That was a good enough answer for me. Why be a doubting Thomas? With the witness of the early Church Fathers, the Eucharistic miracles and the apologetics I’ve studied since then, my belief has been verified and strengthened. The book The Holy Eucharist by Alphonsus De Ligouri has been a huge inspiration for my devotion to the Holy Eucharist.
Another experience that has nourished my faith is Cursillo. I went with an open heart to soak in the Lord, but when I got there, I have to admit, I was not happy to see two of the priests that would be presenting the weekend. Now how is that for an open heart? Anyway, by the end of the weekend, I came to love those two priests deeply, and also became more aware of my judgemental heart, which with the power of the confessional, even a judgemental heart can be repaired. I also became more confident in the power of prayer, as I learned of all the people praying for the fruitfulness of the weekend. One of my sons asked me once, “What is the benefit of praying for others, isn’t God going to help them anyway?” Ponder that for a while. My answer was incomplete, but I said, “ Yeah, maybe our prayers help us more than those we pray for.”
In 1988, after nine years of marriage, my loving and “fun-loving” husband had a friend take him to treatment for alcoholism. I had been praying and praying, “God, please do not let him be an alcoholic.” He was at a job in Wyoming with the railroad and called me late one evening to tell me he was going to treatment. I told him, “Can’t you just stop drinking so much?” Little did I know that he had been trying to moderate his drinking for some time. By the grace of God, help from a friend, 30 days treatment and AA, he became a recovering alcoholic for the rest of his life. We both learned so much from the “Twelve Step”tep program and the serenity prayer. So much like the Surrender Prayer.
After nearly 35 years of marriage, my husband died in a car crash. I was of course in shock for a time. I prayed to God that if I could just see his smiling face, I would be OK. Very soon after, I had a dream and I saw his smiling face —just his smiling face — I guess that is all I asked for. I was and am so thankful for that image. Another time I was in the chapel at the hospital gazing at the crucifix and asking Jesus, “How am I going to continue on without Doug?” Jesus’ answer was, “Keep your eyes on me and everything will be OK.”
A friend gave me the book “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Heaven but Never Dreamed of Asking" by Peter Kreeft. I began devouring any book I could find about heaven and life after death. I found great comfort and some confusion in these books. A huge benefit in healing came from a sad situation. A parishioner lost her husband a month after I lost Doug and we became grief consolers for one another and developed a dear friendship. So much outpouring of love was shown in our community, family and friends, which also helped in the healing process. People offered Masses for Doug and that meant so much to me. I had rarely done this for others, but now it’s something I do for the living and the deceased. Belief in the power of Mass gives tremendous hope and consolation, as well as belief in the Resurrection.
My six children and their families are the next greatest joys of my life. How can you describe the satisfaction received from a loving family… immeasurable! Trials of course, but that comes with love.
Now that my children are grown I have more time to myself. I love to spend my morning prayer time at our church only a few blocks from home. Daily Mass is offered most days as well. Just writing this reflection has been a way to search my soul, and I would recommend everyone to sit down and write their own.
(Photos courtesy of Marie Young)