Embracing repentance and conversion

 On Ash Wednesday, the Church presents the call to repentance and conversion with forceful words from the Book of the Prophet Joel. “Return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning. Rend your hearts and not your garments and return to the Lord your God. For gracious and merciful is he, slow to anger, rich in kindness and relenting in punishment.”
Since we were young children, we were taught to be sorry and apologize to others when we have hurt them. Lent, however, is more than just a moment. It is an entire season of turning away from sin and turning our hearts back to the Lord. More than a momentary examination of our lives, the Church invites us to spend a period of time—a season in the Church year—reflecting on the patterns in our lives, especially those that are out of line with the Gospel and the interior promptings of the Holy Spirit that we have received. The Lenten season engrains in us the patterns of repentance and conversion.

Repentance comes about when we take stock of our lives—our thoughts, words, deeds and omissions. Repentance is a response to an interior awareness that arises when we “look in the mirror” and discover, quite honestly, the sinful thoughts, behaviors and attitudes by which we have offended God and hurt others. Repentance comes from acknowledging our sins and appreciating their consequences.

In recent years, I came across a brochure entitled, “Confession and Receiving God’s Mercy: A Guide for Penitents and Priests.” It is a very helpful resource for understanding the dynamics of the human heart and what I call a “healthy approach” to the sacrament of Penance. In part, the brochure states, “The Church’s living tradition speaks of the Seven Deadly Sins. Opposed to these are the Heavenly Virtues. At the root of the deadly sins can be lies we’ve believed, which often cover over even deeper fears in our hearts.” The brochure then outlines “common lies and fears that can operate within us if we don’t exercise the gift of faith.” It also presents “some Scriptures that can help us grow in communion with Christ, from which the life of virtue and holiness flourishes.”  (If you would like to receive a copy of this brochure, send an email request to communications@gidiocese.org or mail to: Director of Communications, Diocese of Grand Island, 2708 Old Fair Road, Grand Island, NE 68803)
While it is important to discover what our sinful patterns might be, a true conversion—a turning away from sinful tendencies—is a more difficult step.  Let’s take a simple example, like swearing. All too common in our world today is the use of vulgarity, crude and indecent speech and the act of swearing—specifically, using the name of God in an unholy and unnecessary way, as well as cursing. Once we recognize these patterns (vices are bad habits) we must first be sorry for them. This is what moves us to conversion—a true change. When we begin to take stock of the effects of our sins—the step of conversion gets underway and new patterns (virtues are good habits)  can begin.

Conversion comes from an interior resolve to change—to take the steps to root out these patterns.  Traditionally, this has been called the “firm purpose of amendment.”  Many times we find ourselves confessing the same things again and again because this step has not taken place. Guilt and sorrow are two different things. While a person might be caught in the act of stealing, thus establishing their guilt, they may not be at all sorry. Conversion takes place in our hearts when we resolve to amend our patterns of thinking and behaving because we are ashamed of what these sins have done. This is a healthy shame—one that motivates us to choose what is good and avoid what is evil.

As a starting point for your Lenten plans this year, begin by asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to you the lies you have adopted as truth in your heart. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you patterns that have taken you farther away from the truth of God’s love for you and left you feeling alone and isolated —just where the devil wants us all to be. Ask the Lord to show you more of his love, his personal regard and delight in you, and allow yourself to receive more of the truth that you are precious in His eyes (Isaiah 43:4). Then, take upon yourself just one or two “Lenten disciplines” that will foster growth in your ability to receive and live in the truth of God’s love for you.

Rather than give up things this Lenten season that you will simply go back to on Easter Sunday, ask the Lord to show you what sinful patterns in thoughts, words and deeds HE wants you to give up forever. Make your Lenten discipline something that frees you for the sinful patterns of your life. Be courageous and let God amaze you by his grace and your cooperation with Him! With God, all things are possible—but apart from him we can do nothing.